I always find it impressive how contradictory we can be. On one hand, I consider myself a pretty tough girl but on the other hand I'm a wus. Case in point was the creepy guy who used to live next door to me and my ex-fiancee. I never told him to stop doing his creepy stuff (like leaving a bag in front of our door with lingerie inside as a "gift" to me ) - it was my ex who ended up confronting him. I was scared - that was why I didn't say anything. I'm now 30 years old (OMG I can't believe I crossed over!) and I'm still a wus.
I was almost told off by a friend for not reacting to the creep. I don't think he really understood. Not a lot of guys appreciate how the world is from the point of view of a woman. Looks when I walk into a restaurant. Being called a slut at a dance club because my skirt was a little short and I had just told the guy that I was gay. A drink offered to me that I never asked for. Being called a bitch because I dared to tell a driver off because he nearly ran me over on my bike. Being overridden at a meeting by a snarky guy who acted like I had nothing of value to add. Having my bum pinched by some slimy dude in Rome. Not getting that pay rise and being told to depend on "karma" instead because karma can pay my rent and buy me food (look up Satya Nadella and karma)...I can think of so many others.
Of course I have nothing on what being a woman is like in places where I could be sold into slavery, where it's ok for a man to beat me up, where I can get shot because I want to go to school or where being raped is just par for the course no matter how young I might be.
History has taught me to be a victim. We are treated and we treat ourselves as girls who aren't truly owners of our own bodies or destiny because daddy will always protect us (or beat us up if we don't want his protection). IMHO most feminist movements have it wrong. They want us to persist our girlhood - except now we shouldn't listen to daddy but mommy instead.
As tempting as it is to roll over and ask to be protected, we shouldn't. The world isn't safe and the world isn't fair and we have to learn to live with that. If my bum is pinched, maybe I should reciprocate with his balls or if a guy treats me like a bimbo in a meeting, make sure that we have *that conversation* after or if I'm not getting a pay increase, walk into my boss's office and demand why and if I don't get a good answer from him, walk into his boss's office.
Everything around us teaches us to be scared. Be good little girl, don't create too many ripples and daddy will protect you. I really miss the girl who could kick the ass of a guy twice her size and be rarin' to go again. Time for her to grow up and be the woman who can kick the ass of a guy twice her size (finding a guy twice my size isn't hard).
In the IDF, I learned that being a woman didn't excuse me from my responsibilities to defend my country. I should learn to apply that lesson closer to home....and stop worrying.
...The lady steps off her soapbox, takes a bow, and exits stage left